John Travolta offers to fly Spice Force One
Artist's conception of B757 Spice Force One by ScanPix.
Oh how I wish this was a bad dream.
(BANG) - John Travolta wants to fly the Spice Girls around the globe for their forthcoming world tour.
The 'Pulp Fiction' star, who is a qualified pilot, is keen to jet the reunited girl group from venue to venue on their lavish private plane, nicknamed 'Spice Force One'.
-- "Spice-y pilot John Travolta", BANG Media International, October 10th, 2007.
Right away I can spot some rank stupidity in the media report. I guess this reporter has never heard of graduated licensing. Apparently "qualified pilots" can fly any type of aircraft to any distance under any weather or environmental conditions. A qualified pilot flies his aircraft by virtue of understanding the laws of physics and dynamics of lift. Not by hours of instruction and operational experience in the unique instrument layout, performance and handling capabilities of specific models of aircraft. That's not required at all.
After all, the average automobile driver can go from a Honda Accord to a Formula One car without any additional instruction whatsoever. All those differentiated A-M ratings are a giant sham, you don't need them! One size fits all!
John said: "It sounds like an amazing plane. I have been flying since 1974 so maybe I could help out. I was always desperate to be a pilot, every cent I had went on flying lessons."
...The 757 will transport the girls - all of whom are mothers apart from Mel C - their families, management, wardrobe, make-up artists and bodyguards from venue to venue.
Great, John. How about you put some of those hard-earned cents into, oh I don't know, type certification on the Boeing 757, for instance? Right now you're a private pilot, meaning you're not permitted to take paying customers, and the insurance premiums of your non-revenue passengers are going to be a tad higher than if they were flying with an ATP-rated pilot with a few hundred hours in-type. These are Travolta's certifications, incidentally—courtesy of the FAA:
(Look it up here if you want to do your own legwork.)
That's a pretty impressive list of type ratings, but they do carry a couple of significant limits. All heavy commercial airliners have a minimum aircrew requirement of two, meaning they cannot legally be operated without two mission-capable pilots on the flight deck. "B-707 SIC PRIVILEGES ONLY" means Travolta may only act as second-in-command of his own Boeing 707; a type-rated pilot-in-command has to be in the left seat beside him, with overall responsibility for the aircraft and flight. "VFR ONLY" for the Cessna Citation rating means he blew (or did not seek) the IFR checkride for that bizjet.
This is really a half-hearted slam because, frankly, he has more multi-engine turbine ratings than most private pilots would ever dare to dream about. And I think that's terrific. But he can't carry revenue passengers (commercial rating), and he hasn't bothered to get himself an ATP (airline transport pilot) rating—which is what the Spice Girls' insurer is going to insist on, given the size of the entourage and the attendant liability issues.
Just one word of advice, John. When you're offering yourself as a pilot on a pop tart world tour, the very least you can do is get type-rated on their leased aircraft. Otherwise you may as well be offering to give them a lift to the airport on your kid sister's bike with the banana seat and tassels hanging off the chopper handlebars.
UPDATE: Point of clarification for non-aviators. A 757/767 type rating course lasts a little over four weeks. Recall that Travolta's 707, Jett Clipper Ella, doesn't have a modern glass cockpit, it's all steam gauges. So he's looking at 4+ weeks to get type-rated in time for a tour whose first performance is December 2nd. Better get cracking.
Also note (at the above link) that Qantas lets him get away with wearing the four stripes of a captain when he's only FO-qualified (recall the second-in-command limit on his 707 rating).
